Friday 12 July 2013

Benteke: The Musical. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

"Music has charms to soothe a savage breast" -  William Congreve

When the news broke of  Christian Benteke's transfer request late on Monday evening, there were many reactions. I'll admit that mine was initially one of rage and vitriol, though I had to rein this in somewhat because I was flying the villamad Twitter account at the time, so I was biting my tongue to a large extent and reserved my most rage filled comments for texts to mates or responses on Facebook.

It soon become clear that Villa fans were in mood for levity either. When I posted a jokey tweet that we'd missed out on Grant Holt too, more people than usual actually took it seriously. You always get the odd "Margo" who doesn't get the joke, but this was different.

Villa tweeps were losing the will to laugh collectively, possibly by a combination of the "shock" of the Benteke news and being desensitised after several days of poking Julie Bayley with sharp sticks.

(If you're not aware of the Julie Bayley saga, you are better off out of it to be honest.)

As we headed in to the wee small hours, the extent of the Benteke bombshell was evident by the fact that the angry mob of Villa fans on Twitter hadn't gone to bed. Tweeting pictures of severed heads didn't seem to help calm everyone down.

So I wrested control of the villamad Twitter account back from the overnight Minions and began tweeting break up tunes:


Now I see no reason why ONLY people  who were sitting up reading Twitter at two in the morning should get to wallow in misery, so I've Spotified the playlist.

So kick your summer shoes off, pour yourself another Pimms and have a thoroughly miserable time, while Benteke tries to come to terms with the fact that Villa support in Germany has already moved on and adapted Seven Nation Army for Nicklas Helenius:

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